Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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