if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
