I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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