He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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