KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
