i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
