went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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