i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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