how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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