Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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