Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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