I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
