she takes plan B like it's going out of style
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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