what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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