is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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