I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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