i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
