So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
