Christians are straight up FREAKS
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
