It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
