he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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