We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
