I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm sobbing to NWA
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
