come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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