I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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