you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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