Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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