I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
