whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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