we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
