i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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