For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
