I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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