no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
