when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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