Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
