You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
