Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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