I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
