When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
