These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
