look no pants
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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