But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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