i just made my gag reflex go away.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
