this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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