Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
