I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
foreskin is a definite game changer
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
