He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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