I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
