Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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