I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
