"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
