Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We have started to decorate penises.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
