I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
