she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
