We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He kissed a someone with a penis
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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