just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
